Frequently asked San Diego divorce questions
Alexis L. Scott and Anthony J. Solare are Divorce and Family Law Attorneys in San Diego County servicing all of Southern California
According to statistics we have seen, it’s around year six or so when the love has gone, what used to make your heart skip a beat now makes you boil with rage, and certain spouses’ lose their inability to maintain even minimal wage employment and/or their eagerness to exchange bodily fluids with passing strangers becomes preferable to their partner. If you find yourself in such an unfortunate situation, you are wondering what do I do now and how do I protect myself from this loser?
While the dynamics of a failed relationship are as varied and unique as toxic snowflakes, we have found over the years that there is certain advice that is close to universal. Let us share some of that.
Of course, if you have children, they will be your number one priority. Do all that you can to eliminate or minimize arguments, confrontations and even discussions regarding your split in front of them? Regardless of their age, such conflict can be very traumatic and will almost assuredly be looked upon disfavorably by the court. Obviously, you cannot shield them completely from the impending dissolution but is it important to do so in a manner that is calm, patient and understanding. A good counselor or therapist can be invaluable in providing guidance in this most difficult arena.
Second, unless you are 99% sure things will be amicable, do not engage in discussions about how to “split things up.” Unless you both really understand how our complex community property laws work, it’s likely that someone’s thoughts will be completely contrary to how things really work. As importantly, such discussions have no binding authority on either party so they can become a source of significant conflict later.
Third, be wary of making any big decisions regarding any of the potential issues without consulting with a trusted divorce and family law attorney. This includes transferring money, selling or buying any real estate or other major purchase and relocating to Mexico with the kids may seem like a good idea at the time but could in the long run cause significant problems. We are always empathetic to the high emotions that can be generated during a divorce, which is why we always counsel to act “from the neck up” as much as possible. The lower spine has its place but is best left out of decision-making!
The best thing you can do for yourself is to consult with a knowledgeable divorce and family law attorney as soon as possible. Trust us, I understand that no one WANTS to deal with their own divorce (I know for a fact that our advice is much easier to give than implement), rarely do things get better with procrastination. We have found over the years that our clients relax significantly once they have a basic understanding of how these cases work and a general idea of what is to come. So while we would not wish this situation on anyone, if you or someone you care about is in it, call us immediately to set up a free consultation. In the long run hiring an attorney will end up saving you thousands and more importantly months of unnecessary stress. Call us today…You’ll be glad you did. Or visit our website for more information.